The Best Way To Protect Kids Online? Connection
First published on Today's Parent on October 28th, 2025.
You can’t control every app. A registered clinical counsellor explains why filters and settings can’t replace real conversations with your kid.
When the latest headlines about Roblox appeared—allegations of unsafe interactions online and even reports of vigilantes stepping in—I felt the same unease I hear from many parents: How do we keep our kids safe in a digital world we don’t fully understand.
That uneasy feeling is worth pausing on. For many caregivers, it’s not just about Roblox, it’s about TikTok, Discord, Snapchat, or whatever platform tomorrow brings. The landscape changes daily, and parents are expected to keep up with a world that shifts faster than any of us can learn. It’s exhausting. And when stories about exploitation or grooming appear in the news, that exhaustion often tips into fear.
Fear makes us long for control. And tech companies are quick to promise it with new parental controls, AI age-checks and “trusted connection” systems. These tools may help in some situations. But after more than a decade of supporting survivors of childhood abuse and now working with families in prevention, I can say this with confidence: safety doesn’t begin with an app. It begins with the relationship your child has with you.
Why connection is essential
Parents often ask me what filter or monitoring system will keep their child safe. The truth is that those tools are limited. The strongest safeguard is the bond you build with your child. If something online feels off, will they come to you? Do they trust that you’ll listen without judgment? Or will they hide it, fearing punishment or panic? That difference, the choice to disclose versus to stay silent, can be the line between safety and risk.
The statistics remind us why this matters. According to the Canadian Centre for Child Protection, reports of online exploitation rose eight percent in Canada in 2024, with nearly 1,900 incidents reported in British Columbia alone. Globally, one in 12 youth has been targeted for online sexual exploitation. These are not abstract numbers. They represent children whose safety hinged on whether they felt able to reach out for help.
What kids need from parents
I’ve learned that when parents can regulate themselves, kids feel safer. You don’t need to know every feature on Roblox or master every update in the digital world. What matters most is how you respond when your child tells you about a mistake or a frightening encounter. If we react with panic, anger, or punishment, kids quickly learn to keep secrets. But if we respond with steadiness, curiosity, and care, they learn to bring us their worries. Regulation is contagious. A calm parent nervous system helps co-regulate a child’s nervous system, which is what makes them feel secure enough to disclose.
No parent gets this right every time. You will feel overwhelmed. Your child will stumble. That’s not the end of safety, but it can be the beginning of trust. Repair is the act of going back, apologizing if we overreact, and showing our kids that mistakes don’t fracture the relationship. When children learn that even hard conversations can end with connection intact, they become more likely to come forward next time.
How parents can adapt as kids grow
Of course, no two children are the same. What feels safe and appropriate for a nine-year-old may not be right for a 13-year-old. Neurodiverse children may need different supports than neurotypical ones. This is why rigid rules such as blanket screen-time bans often backfire. Strategies must be tailored to a child’s developmental stage, temperament, and unique needs. Families often benefit from practical tools: scripts for how to respond when something goes wrong, or shared agreements about where and when devices are used. These are not about rigid control, but about equipping parents and kids to respond with clarity instead of panic.
And perhaps most importantly, safety isn’t built in a single conversation. Kids live in what we sometimes call digital “third spaces”. These are the places that feel just as real to them as the playground or hockey rink. The best way to keep them safe is to keep the dialogue open. Some of my favourite conversation starters include “What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen online this week?” or “Has anything ever popped up that made you feel uncomfortable?” These aren’t interrogations; they’re invitations to connect. When children feel heard without judgment, they’re more likely to share both the highlights and the hard parts.
Why parents deserve support
If that sounds like a lot to carry, it is. Parenting in a hyperconnected world can feel like walking a minefield, and you’re not meant to do it alone. My colleague, Olivia Herron, Registered Clinical Counsellor, and I have been developing ways to support parents of kids aged nine to 13 because we see every day how much caregivers need space to share struggles, learn grounding skills, and find relief from the stress and shame they so often carry in silence. Just as kids need connection, parents do too.
In my work with children and families, I’ve learned a crucial truth: prevention begins with connection. Parents do not come to this work as blank slates. They bring their own histories, their own traumas, and their own fears. This is why support for caregivers matters as much as support for children. Peer connection and shared learning can ease the weight of parenting in a hyperconnected world and remind parents they are not alone. Healing happens when children experience safety in relationships, and prevention is simply offering that safety earlier, before harm occurs.
The Roblox panic will fade when the next digital crisis takes its place. But what will remain constant is the need for children to know: I can go to my parent, and they will listen.
You don’t need to be a tech expert. You don’t need to control every app or anticipate every risk. What you need is the willingness to stay connected, to stay calm, and to keep the door open. That connection is what truly protects kids today, tomorrow, and in the years to come.